She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is the high leading the old right now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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