Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
