i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
