But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
