It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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