So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
