Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
