just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
