On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The air was thick with penises
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
