its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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