i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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