i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
