They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
