Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
