well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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