I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
