Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
