Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
