Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
