Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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