Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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