I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
