matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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