I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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