batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So many bounce houses so little time
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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