I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
