So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
