why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
