Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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