Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This is my gift to your gina
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
