he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
