where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
