Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
