i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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