I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.