just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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