Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.