how can u be prego again
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's shark week go big or go home
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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