i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
