You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I had to cum in my sink.
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