RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
