i just wanna soil my oats bro
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
