you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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