marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
