you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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