Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
a search helicopter?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
sex in a hospital.. check
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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