If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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