so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
