well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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