I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
