It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
