do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
