Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize