hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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