talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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