the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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