you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
