if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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