I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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