she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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