HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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