When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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