So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
