Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize