Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
